Stories to help reframe your stress & anxiety.

Sometimes when we are feeling overwhelmed, all we need is a little perspective shift to boost our mood and reframe our negative mind chatter. Today’s blog is inspired by a podcast that I listened to the other day. Although the content of this podcast is different from today’s blog, I found the following stories really profound! 

The first story is Plato’s Allegory of the Cave:

“In Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, we learn about some prisoners who have been trapped in a cave their whole lives. They’ve never seen the world outside of the cave. They are chained in such a way that they are facing the wall and their backs are turned towards the entrance of the cave. Due to their positioning, they can occasionally see shadows on the cave wall of things that are passing by the cave. They occasionally hear noises and they associate the sounds with the shadows they see. They only know the world through the shadows they see on the cave wall. 

One day, one of the prisoners escapes and he leaves the cave. At first he can’t see anything because it is too bright and he is blinded by the brightness. But overtime his eyes adjust and he can see things with much more clarity than before. For the first time he is seeing things as they really are. From that moment on he understands that the shadow of a thing is not the same as the thing itself. Elated with his new understanding of the world, he returns to the cave to tell his friends all about what he has seen — but to his surprise they don’t believe him. It’s not that they don’t want to believe him, but they literally can’t believe him. You see, they only know the world through the shadows and they’ve never experienced life in any other way.”

“…the shadow of a thing is not the same as the thing itself.”

How powerful is that quote? Sometimes when we are feeling stressed out, angry, overwhelmed or in a funk it is because we are only seeing our triggers/obstacles as their shadows. We are not consciously stepping back and viewing them from a different, more objective perspective. 

Here’s an example:

Let’s say that you are feeling anxious. In this moment you’re viewing these anxious thoughts as a shadow instead of objectively — your perspective is negative and heavy and you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Sure, that is precisely how anxiety feels sometimes and that’s normal! However, most of our anxious & negative thoughts aren’t actually true! They’re merely shadows of a fear that we are projecting onto our near or distant future. 

Now, let’s say you notice that you are giving your anxious thoughts more meaning than you should, and for a split second you choose to see them for what they actually are — which is repetitive words or phrases in your brain that cause discomfort. You can choose to see anxiety for what it is:

Anxiety. A message from our body that we are out of alignment somewhere. A sign that we are in need of some self-care.

What is is NOT:

A fact or accurate prediction of exactly what is to come. A sign that something is wrong or something bad will happen.

So!

What issue or stressor in your life are you viewing from the SHADOW of the thing versus the actual nature of the thing? In other words, is there a way that you can switch your perspective — even for just a moment — and try to view this situation for what it really is? We so often want to attach our own stories and meanings to the events of our lives and if we aren’t careful we can start to create a lot of unneeded stress. Overtime this stress adds up, so be mindful of the stories that you are telling yourself and adjust as needed!

At the end of the podcast another short story is narrated. It is called “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters” by Portia Nelson. Although the two are unrelated, I want to share them both here because I believe that they compliment each other well.

Chapter One:

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless.
 It isn't my fault. 
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two:

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I still don't see it. I fall in again.
 I can't believe I am in the same place. It isn't my fault.
 It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three:

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. 
I see it there, I still fall in. 
It's habit. It's my fault. I know where I am. I get out immediately.

Chapter Four:

I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter Five:

I walk down a different street.

I absolutely love this story! It helps us realize that just because we are imperfect does not mean that we are not making progress. In relation to the Allegory from earlier, this story can help us remember that we will not always be quick to recognize or address our “shadows” (unfavorable limiting beliefs, stories, “flaws”, etc) or the shadows we attach to events in our lives.

“At first he can’t see anything because it is too bright and he is blinded by the brightness. But overtime his eyes adjust and he can see things with much more clarity than before.”

The more we are mindful of our part in our pain and stress, the better we can become at quickly reframing our thoughts and choosing better ones. Pretend that the bright light is our stubbornness / resistance / reluctance to see our situation any differently. Just like the prisoner, overtime you will adjust. The more you practice this and hold yourself accountable, the easier it becomes! Before you know it, you will be able to move through your struggles with ease. When you fall back, you will be able to quickly regain your balance and return to peace!

Eventually, you will be able to walk down your own streets, mindfully and with confidence.

Podcast link:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secular-buddhism/id1071578260?i=1000360518046