How to boost your true confidence
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Disclaimer: None of the statements in this post are meant to offend any woman who treats herself to any of the things listed. You get lash extensions? Great! Botox? Do you girlfriend! I’m in full support of doing anything that makes you feel good. This post is simply meant to bring awareness to the “why” behind how we as women feel the need to change ourselves to feel confident. So let’s get started.
I’m going to start by saying that if you want to boost your confidence, let go of any hope that what you change on the outside will all of the sudden vanish what is going on internally. Sure, a part of confidence is physical but today more than ever, women are regularly exposed to thousands of advertisements, photoshopped images, social media influencers, etc — all teaching them how to obsess over the approval of other people, which then teaches them how to obsess over someone else’s disapproval. Bloggers don’t get paid to tell you that feeling good is an inside job. They get paid to tell you that this fake tanner will give you the perfect bohemian glow or that this concealer is their new favorite product (until they get next month’s sponsorship).
So what are some things that you can do to boost your (true) confidence?
Take care of yourself. Shower, eat well, drink water and move your body! Yes, confidence is an inside job, but to feel good on the inside you need to honor your body. How will you feel confident if you’re tired all of the time, haven’t showered in a week and your body is lacking the nutrients and movement to sustain you at baseline?
Unfollow influencers, fitness models, celebrities or anyone else that you are going to negatively compare yourself to. Our brains have not adapted to take in the amount of information we are now exposed to on a daily basis. If you need some inspiration, follow a couple of healthy people with your body type or your favorite makeup artist. Keep your social media simple so you do not overwhelm your brain with images that create negative comparisons within you.
Work on your own sense of fulfillment and purpose. Start a class, meditate, take yourself to dinner, meet new people, help others, read self-help books, write, find a new hobby, save some money, do anything that helps you walk to the beat of your own drum. Figure out what your likes and dislikes are, find things that you enjoy and things that you don’t. You need to get to know yourself if you want to truly feel confident in who you are.
Stop surrounding yourself with anyone who is not serving your highest good. A boyfriend who doesn’t value you? Dump him sis. A friend that doesn’t support your goals? Stop the weekly bar hops or cut ties for a while if they are bringing you down. To feel confident you n e e d to feel supported by the people closest to you and you need to put YOU first.
Be open minded, listen carefully to others, but do not be afraid to have your own opinions. When you are truly confident, you do not let the thoughts and beliefs of others sway your own. I’m not suggesting being stubborn / a know-it-all. You can be receptive without being agreeable.
Be nice to yourself. The thoughts you think matter. When someone compliments you, say thank you (Paige, credit to you for that one xo). When you notice something you want to criticize, forgive the thought and point out something you love. Focus your attention on thoughts that build you up and repeat them until you believe them.
Confidence is not something that you can buy in Sephora, glue to your lash line or put on over your favorite sweater. It is much deeper than that and involves a lot more work internally than it does externally. When we are TRULY confident, we know that just because someone may have a b and c, it does not mean that makes us any less able, worthy or beautiful if we do not. Confidence involves having a sense of purpose, worthiness and trust. It comes with holding our own opinions, values, morals and boundaries. It shines in the way you speak, the way you act and the way you make people feel.
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Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is not afraid to walk her own path with confidence and grace. With that being said, part of being confident is taking care of yourself & as a woman I know that most of us ladies do love feeling feminine and enhancing that where we can. So here are some pricey/trendy things women do to feel confident and the things you can do instead:
Before this:
Expensive creams // serums // lotions
Hair extensions
Microblading your eyebrows
Lash extensions
Fake tanners // tanning beds
Skinny teas // Diet pills
Contouring makeup
Price: $600 every 6 months (minimum)
Goal: Cover/mask/change
Try this:
Shower and shave regularly
Apply body oil/lotion
Exfoliate and wash your face (CeraVe is a great/affordable option that works for most people!)
Keep your nails filed or painted
Find colors and makeups that flatter y o u r skin tone, don’t feel the need to be a color that you aren’t
Find a good hair stylist and treat yourself every 8 weeks to a trim or cut that makes you feel good and keeps your hair healthy (Throw in a pedicure and make a day of it!)
Let your skin breathe, apply some SPF and mascara and learn to love your natural look
Wear something that compliments you and your style, don’t stress over the trends
Throw away old bras/underwear/socks. Find a few cute/flattering styles and colors that make you feel feminine and confident!
Price: $150 every 6 months (with the extra $450 in your savings account for that trip you’ve been wanting to take)
Goal: Self-care/enhance what is there already
I am all for doing your makeup or splurging if that is something that you enjoy! Being a woman means that we get to have fun and express ourselves in many ways. We all like treating ourselves && getting dressed up, I highly recommend that! Just make sure that you are also comfortable in your own skin and these things do not come from a place of comparison or insecurity. I’m here to tell you that you are worthy and you are beautiful just how you are, do not ever let a person or society make you think otherwise. Not ever.
xx